I bought this sparkly, beaded reindeer shirt at Target yesterday. The deer has a rhinestone eye. I am very excited.
Erichy always says that my stories fall into a certain genre. Those of you who know me know that genre; think, being sued by my house painter and having a court date on my very first day of graduate school coursework, etc. Really, most of these stories have to do with Home Depot, so maybe that’s what my genre is: Home Depot. Home ownership. Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House.
Come to think of it, my clothes have a genre, too. Reindeer fits right in. I also have a whale sweater, a turtle sweater, a rhinestone turtle necklace and bracelet, a lobster dress, a bear shirt, a bear sweater, and probably some other wearable zoomorphism that I’ve forgotten. Oh yes, sealife: here, here, and here.
Just this fall, I have enjoyed a few classic examples of my genre. There was the water softener/water heater debacle involving moldy pools of water on the basement floor; the water softener guy (thanks Home Depot) told us we needed a new one. We figured out (just in time) that it was actually the water HEATER causing the leaks. Now we have a new one of those, but not without some fun along the way; the plumber (thanks Home Depot) who installed it used our bathroom twice while he was here (for an hour), both times with the door partially open and me working close by in my study. That way, I could enjoy visuals as well as hearing him exclaim, “oh, THAT’S better.”
I sprayed EVERYTHING with Lysol after he left. Twice.
Oh, and the garbage disposal: that still spews out dirty water every day, which we’ve been collecting in a bucket under the sink. My daily bucket-emptying routine bears some resemblance to the pre-industrial emptying of slops; perhaps I should, like the Scots, call “Gardy Loo” before I toss the bucket (though I don’t use the window).
Today’s story involved the furnace; I woke up to find that my reluctance to get out of bed was well-founded, since the furnace had stopped working overnight. The indoor temp had dropped to 56. The water in the pipes was VERY cold. The cats were VERY mad. It’s all working again, but this was a fun morning. I especially enjoyed fishing around outside in the intake pipes to remove icicles and a wasp’s nest, neither of which were responsible for the failure. It was -8 this morning and, just for a visual, our world looks like this right now:
I live on Hoth.